


folkin' around

by oldpapertowns



Series: chemical christmas 2020 [9]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ficlet, Gen, M/M, chemical christmas, rated teen solely for swearing, speaking of which there’s a LOT of swearing this is deadass just cussing, this started as a shitpost but LMFAO im just running w it at this point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:49:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27979878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oldpapertowns/pseuds/oldpapertowns
Summary: One day Toph says, out of the blue, “Who here do you think can cuss the most?”Suki snorts. “Is that even a question? Me.”Sokka narrows his eyes at her, remembering the time where they’d once thought of as many curses as possible. “I think we’re evenly matched.”Toph smiles, gleeful. “Why don’t we make it a contest? We take turns cursing, and whoever’s the last one standing wins. No repeats.”OR: 25% of this fic is just the gaang cussing
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko, The Gaang & The Gaang, Toph & Zuko
Series: chemical christmas 2020 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2036416
Comments: 16
Kudos: 241





	folkin' around

**Author's Note:**

> day 9 of chemical christmas - curse! prompt list by @saintmichale_ on instagram
> 
> title from ‘folkin’ around’ by panic at the disco
> 
> be warned this fic really does contain a LOT of expletives that google would describe as ‘coarse and rude.’ other than that, happy reading!

One day Toph says, out of the blue, “Who here do you think can cuss the most?”

Suki snorts. “Is that even a question? Me.”

Sokka narrows his eyes at her, remembering the time where they’d once thought of as many curses as possible. “I think we’re evenly matched.”

Toph smiles, gleeful. “Why don’t we make it a contest? We take turns cursing, and whoever’s the last one standing wins. No repeats.”

“You’re on,” Sokka and Suki declare at nearly the same time, then give each other the stink eye.

Zuko shrugs. “Fine.”

“Do insults count?” Aang asks.

“If they count as curses, yeah,” says Suki.

“Alright.” Aang grins. “Sounds fun.”

Katara rolls her eyes with a sigh. “Sure.”

“I’ll start,” Toph states. “Fuck.”

“Me next!” Sokka taps his chin for dramatic effect. Then, “Shit.”

“Creative,” Suki mutters with a playful jab to Sokka’s side before declaring, “Cunt.”

“Ass!” says Aang, beaming.

“Asshole,” adds Katara without looking up from her work.

“Douche.” Zuko sounds preoccupied with his own work, so Sokka climbs into his lap to distract him. He receives an amused look and a kiss for his trouble.

“Twat.”

“Dickhead.”

“Shithead.”

“Nutsack.”

“Prick.”

“Motherfucker.”

“Pissflaps.” Toph, upon hearing the silence that follows her (excuse of a) curse, frowns. “What? I never said it had to be a widely used curse!”

“Knobhead,” says Sokka as he gives her a noogie.

“Asswipe.”

“Twatface.”

“Bootlicker.”

“Pissbucket.” Zuko still doesn’t look up from his work.

“Fucktrumpet!” Toph crows.

Sokka rolls his eyes, though there’s a grin on his face. This is  _ fun. _ “Shitbag.”

“Dickweed.”

“Bitchtits?” Aang tries. He then shakes his head vehemently. “Ew. I don’t like that one. I’m going to stick with the tried and true.”

“Bitch,” says Katara, half a grin on her face before she remembers that she’s supposed to not be enjoying this. She wipes the smile from her face in favor of a disapproving frown. (Sokka can see right through it, but he’ll let her have it.)

“Git.”

“Cumwipe.”

“Jizzstain.”

“Fuckwit.”

“Fucknugget. Ooh, that one’s fun!”

“Bellend.”

“Fuckface.”

“Jizzcock.”

Sokka makes a face at that one. “Horseshit.”

“Fuckbucket.” Suki, it seems, isn’t as grossed out as him.

Aang frowns before lightening up. “Damn.”

Katara opens her mouth then closes it, shaking her head. “I’m out.”

“Okay. Zuko?” Suki looks expectantly at him. “It’s your turn.”

Zuko yawns, then suggests, “Hell.”

“Babe!” Sokka pouts at Zuko. “That’s so… not dirty!”

Zuko quirks his eyebrow at Sokka, lips curling up into that dangerous smirk.  _ Uh oh. _ “You want dirty?” He only waits for a single second before letting loose a series of words that are... vulgar, to say the least. Zuko keeps going for what feels like a good minute or two, spewing some  _ incredibly _ creative word combinations, before he finally runs out of steam.

When he’s done, everyone’s staring at him with expressions that vary from admiration to horror to shock.

Zuko blinks. “What?”

“Where did you  _ learn _ that?” Sokka demands, looking straight into Zuko’s eyes to try and glean an answer, because nobody can do something like that without a  _ lot _ of practice.

Zuko just looks back with bemusement. “I lived my weekends on a boat for a year when I was sixteen. Uncle said it would be a good life experience and based nearly all of my lessons around nautical things.”

“That’s an unfair advantage,” comments Suki, though her tone is lighthearted. “Good game.”

“I dibs second place!” Toph yells.

The corner of Zuko’s mouth twitches up. “You can take first place.”

“Really?” Toph beams and punches Zuko’s shoulder after crawling over and locating it. “Thanks, Sparky!”

“Don’t mention it.” Zuko’s smile is fond as he watches Aang and Toph duke it out over… something. It involves a lot of flicking the other on the head.

“You’ve really taken over as her big brother, haven’t you,” Sokka comments as he switches to sit sideways on Zuko, watching the two of them as well.

Zuko tilts his head, a smile still on his face. “I guess.”

“Does that make me the other big brother?” Sokka asks.

Zuko laughs and presses a kiss to Sokka’s cheekbone. “You can be whatever you want.”

Sokka grins and captures Zuko’s lips with his own for a chaste kiss. “I’ll be your boyfriend, then.”

Zuko’s smile grows a bit wider as he steals a kiss of his own. “That’s fine by me.”

As Aang wins a round of whatever game he and Toph are playing, Sokka and Zuko watch, fingers interlocked and matching smiles on their faces.

**Author's Note:**

> you made it to the other side!!
> 
> this had no right being this fun to write. also i don’t. i don’t remember how i thought of this. but. [this article](https://www.buzzfeed.com/alexfinnis/the-100-most-brilliantly-british-swear-words-in-existence) had something to do with it. it’s peak humor to me and i don’t even know WHY
> 
> anyways if you enjoyed please tell me what your fav insult was. also feel free to leave kudos/other comments LMAO ty for reading!!


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